A place where adults can be kids again

I’ve run an improv workshop with my wife for the last four years as a hobby. In few other circumstances do I see people drop their social inhibitions and filters so quickly without chemical influence. Introverts become extroverts. Shy wallflowers blossom into radiant sunflowers.

Let’s step into a real improv scene. Red Riding Hood is at her grandma’s. But this is no ordinary fairytale. This one escalates into a gunfight with the big bad wolf. Red Riding Hood is taking cover behind a table. She’s firing back at the big bad wolf as he unloads his big bad automatic weapon into the barricade. Grandma tears herself out of the wolf, sealing his fate. The audience squeals with joy, much like my 2-year-old during a great peekaboo session. Amateurs played this scene, many meeting each other for the first time at our workshop.

Improv is great for my mental state. It washes off the cruft in my mind. It reminds me of how being silly with other people can be pure joy. I occasionally enter a session with work on my mind, frustrated by the commitment to the workshop, with much else to do. The class forces me to disconnect from my ruminating self. I leave feeling centered, with my concerns trivial and my mind at ease. I’m not the only one who feels this way.

How improv impacts our lives

When we let ourselves be kids, it changes how we show up as adults. People from our workshop have told me that improv has helped them overcome depression, discover their calling, and change their lives. It’s done so for me too. Here are some ways it’s helped me.

1. Listening to more than the words

There’s a concept of ‘offers’ in improv. An ‘offer’ is a claim made by a player that reveals something about them or the world.

Here’s an opening scene that shows offers in action:

Bob: Dad, you’ve been speaking German in your sleep again!

(The next player now knows he’s Dad, speaks German but not as his primary language, and this has happened before, all of which he should pick up on and explain)

Dad: Son, the Second World War changed me in more ways than one.

(This instantly enriches the character and opens up the scene to a potential flashback - the player caught everything that was 'offered')

Understanding and accepting the offer fluidly makes improv seem magical when it works well. In conversation, I sometimes receive implicit offers that I totally miss. These often reveal something significant about the person. You might recognize subtle offers in common sentences like these:

“I didn’t think you’d notice.”

Implicit: Why do they want me to notice this thing? This must be important to them. Do they value my attention more than they’re letting on?

“I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Implicit: Is this really about physical fatigue, or are they emotionally spent? Burnt out? Something more might be lingering beneath the surface.

I’ve grown better at hearing what’s unsaid. Wife-certified. Playing improv is like doing listening reps. You can’t help but improve at picking up ‘offers’ in everyday conversations.

2. From This Won’t Work to Let’s Make It Work

I have a lot of entrepreneur friends, and I’m often pitched business ideas. I’ve learned never to shoot them down outright. It shuts down the conversation, and for all you know, I might’ve prematurely ended a billion-dollar industry that solved poverty. I focus on “How could we make this work?” rather than “What are the reasons this will fail”. This is the "Yes, And” way in improv, accepting your partner’s words as reality and building on what’s offered. I’ve had conversations about the first wisp of an idea with a friend, who then turned it into a successful product. I did not kill it in its newborn state but cooed and sang to it.

3. Thinking, Fast and True

I’ve changed how I approach meaningful conversations. I enter with more self-belief, trusting my brain to find the right words in the moment. I surrender control, letting my mind speak freely and authentically. This self-efficacy comes from the ideas my brain conjured out of thin air in improv. It’s made me quicker at tapping into my subconscious to say what feels genuine. It'll either help in the tough arguments with your partner—or get you thrown out—but at least you know you thought fast and true.

What does an improv session look like?

Most drop-in sessions won’t and shouldn’t have you play a scene right from the start. You will be eased into opening up. You will become comfortable being vulnerable. Before you know it, you’re far from your comfort zone, and you’re on a unicycle, and everything will be fine but it’s not easy, and it’s not meant to be. It’s like a great gym session or working on a hard problem in flow. It’s effortful yet effortless. Your brain is working full tilt, but you’re unaware of that.

It’s also a deeply social occasion. There is a shared culture of risk-taking and embracing failure without judgment.

You will begin with gentle warm-up games in a circle, like calling out word associations. In a comfortable setting, you will learn rules like Yes, And. Once you’re confident, you will move on to games like Fairytale Replay, where you end up shooting at a big bad wolf. Here’s a list of games to explore to better understand what it’s like.

“Meetup” is an app I use to find or organize improv sessions. Not every town or city may have the luxury of readily available sessions. In that case, start one!

Yes, and go be a child now.

I moved cities a few months ago, and it’s been my longest break from improv in years. Adult me is growing serious, and 6-year-old me is cowed down. Accounting and taxes are crowding my mental space. I’m too much in my head, with layers of dust obscuring my clarity. I need a dose of improv.

Improv is not mainstream enough. Its joys are restricted to those lucky enough to discover it and courageous enough to try it. After a long day of adulting, improv gives you the right to return to your carefree 6-year-old self and play make-believe. Grownup-you watches admiringly. Soon, the walls come down, and openness, playfulness, and spontaneity weave into your life.